{"id":1312,"date":"2026-04-17T07:19:55","date_gmt":"2026-04-17T13:19:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/?p=1312"},"modified":"2026-04-17T07:44:47","modified_gmt":"2026-04-17T13:44:47","slug":"the-final-ssw-jane-austen-silence-communion-the-abyss-a-full-heart-and-an-unfinished-title","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/archives\/1312","title":{"rendered":"The Final SSW, Jane Austen, Silence, Communion, the Abyss, a Full Heart [and an Unfinished Title :) ]"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

April 16, 2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[Note<\/strong>: This entry contains a bad (as in incomplete, like its title) session of Silent Sustained Writing<\/a>, completed on Thursday, April 16, 2026, in my beloved Jane Austen class, when nearly all the students were present and writing in peace.<\/em>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here in my final SSW, I find myself staring at the blank page. Many thoughts \u2026 no thoughts. Where to start? Teaching Jane Austen \u2026 has brought me in touch with my past, through Gene Ruoff, and so many other large significances of my world. We ended class Tuesday with a proper focus\u2014a glancing recognition of the Holy Spirit as the non-linguistic substance of pure communication. In my conversations elsewhere I spoke of the grief I felt for Austen as a woman, and broadening out, for all women who have suffered oppression, and will suffer oppression, as we keep finding ways to undo progress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there are glimmers. There\u2019s happiness, in local instances. Like Anne Elliot, we can snatch a good life out of the buzz<\/em> in our ears, the confusion<\/em> all around us. As for those making the buzz\u2014a vain father, clueless loved ones, a world of distractions and agendas, often unkind ones\u2014we can live amidst it all, be of service to it all, reject and yet not-reject it all\u2014and be there, and be loving and kind despite all the misguided and hurtful aggressiveness bearing down on us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like Kenneth Burke at the end of Permanence and Change<\/em>1<\/sup>, I\u2019m tiptoeing around the edge of an abyss, so worried. More nervous<\/em>, perhaps, than loquacious<\/em>. But yet, here I sit, in a roomful of cooperating fellow humans, who, despite great inconveniences all around, have placed themselves with me here, and write with me in silence. It\u2019s really quite a remarkable thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do I hope for the world? I want the peace herein experienced; I want welfare for all these good souls. Right now, I\u2019m having one of those moments when, as it were, I rise out of my body and view, in a glimpse, the totality of eternity, and my role in it, out of time. How does all this happen? All this potential I have as a human being, a unique collection of cells in a soul that never was and never will be again, and that can be just about anything I choose it to be. At various points in my life, I\u2019ve had this rising insight\u2014this \u201cspot of time\u201d that my friend Marianne expounded on today via her friend, Wordsworth. I remember the first time being in fifth grade, when we were in line for something\u2014and it occurred to me: my radical individualism. I rose out of my body and thought I was who I was \u2026 not quite that, but something like that; I was unique; I could be me, whatever that was; I was existing as a unique individual. That entailed much\u2014made me feel (even then!) I could start over, and do things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, as I close off my teaching career, I have less time ahead of me to put all that radical individualism to work in the world than I did back in fifth grade. But I can still do something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m grateful for the chance I\u2019ve been given. We hang in the balance. Austen illustrates both how possible it is to overcome obstacles \u2026 and how fragile the whole endeavor is. If only, if only. It\u2019s such a gift, what I\u2019ve been given, what I can glimpse. I can\u2019t go much further in the writing than this today. Possibly ever. I\u2019m hitting the wall; there\u2019s too much. Or it might be the upset stomach I\u2019m feeling. Which also brings me back to Austen, as I imagine the agony of that final year of illness. Poor, poor Jane. I\u2019m grateful for the efforts she did expend under such circumstances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I end the semester (the career) with thoughts of marvel, of gratitude, of frustration. All of it is suffused with grace\u2014with mystery, with quizzicality. My students are here, I\u2019m here, Austen is here. I hope we can continue on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

1<\/sup>“Men [sic] build their cultures by huddling together, nervously loquacious, at the edge of an abyss.” (Permanence and Change, <\/em>1935) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

April 16, 2026 [Note: This entry contains a bad (as in incomplete, like its title) session of Silent Sustained Writing, completed on Thursday, April 16, 2026, in my beloved Jane Austen class, when nearly all the students were present and writing in peace.] Here in my final SSW, I find myself staring at the blank … Continue reading The Final SSW, Jane Austen, Silence, Communion, the Abyss, a Full Heart [and an Unfinished Title :) ]<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1312","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1312"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1327,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1312\/revisions\/1327"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1312"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1312"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1312"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}