{"id":25,"date":"2004-08-28T20:52:06","date_gmt":"2004-08-29T01:52:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/english.sxu.edu\/bonadonna\/wordpress\/?p=25"},"modified":"2025-01-25T12:06:56","modified_gmt":"2025-01-25T18:06:56","slug":"internet-humor-puns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/archives\/25","title":{"rendered":"Internet Humor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>August 28, 2004<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Silly puns&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>    <font color=\"#006600\">Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.<br \/><br \/>    A backward poet writes inverse.<br \/><br \/>    A man&#8217;s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.<br \/><br \/>    Dijon vu &#8211; the same mustard as before.<br \/><br \/>    Practice safe eating &#8211; always use condiments.<\/font><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>    <font color=\"#006600\">Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.<br \/><br \/>    A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.<br \/><br \/>    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.<br \/><br \/>    Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.<br \/><br \/>    Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?<br \/><br \/>    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.<br \/><br \/>    Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.<br \/><br \/>    When two egotists meet, its an I for an I.<br \/><br \/>    A bicycle can&#8217;t stand on its own because it is two tired.<br \/><br \/>    What&#8217;s the definition of a will? (It&#8217;s a dead giveaway.)<br \/><br \/>    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.<br \/><br \/>    In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.<br \/><br \/>    She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.<br \/><br \/>    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.<br \/><br \/>    If you don&#8217;t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.<br \/><br \/>    With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.<br \/><br \/>    When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.<br \/><br \/>    The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.<br \/><br \/>    You feel stuck with your debt if you can&#8217;t budge it.<br \/><br \/>    Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.<br \/><br \/>    He often broke into song because he couldn&#8217;t find the key.<br \/><br \/>    Every calendar&#8217;s days are numbered.<br \/><br \/>    A lot of money is tainted &#8211; It taint yours and it taint mine.<br \/><br \/>    A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.<br \/><br \/>    He had a photographic memory that was never developed.<br \/><br \/>    A plateau is a high form of flattery.<br \/><br \/>    A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.<br \/><br \/>    Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.<br \/><br \/>    Once you&#8217;ve seen one shopping center, you&#8217;ve seen a mall.<br \/><br \/>    Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.<br \/><br \/>    Santa&#8217;s helpers are subordinate clauses.<br \/><br \/>    Acupuncture is a jab well done. <\/font><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>August 28, 2004 Silly puns&#8230; Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine. A backward poet writes inverse. A man&#8217;s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Dijon vu &#8211; the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating &#8211; always use condiments. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/archives\/25\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Internet Humor<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-word-play"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1269,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25\/revisions\/1269"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bonadonna.org\/sites\/wordpress\/bonadonna\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}