September 12, 2024
Thinking about my car ride in, with the news clips of YouTube running their circuit through my phone playing on my car’s Bluetooth, I am comforted, and also disturbed, by the regularity, mastery, and devotion of the companions on my playlist: I’ve felt camaraderie in the apocalypse thinking all around me. What does one do with a sentence like that?
Trump. Climate. Pandemic. War. The end of higher education: Others are feeling the same absolute desperation I am feeling in these End of Days times. Fortified with new media, a modern person can “do apocalypse” in increasingly intense and coherent and focused ways. In the past, there was a time and space lag. As a pre-internet person in my youth, I would have to go to the library to find apocalypse thinkers; I would have to go back in time to philosophers and spokespeople addressing crises of such variety and tangential relevance that the overall effect would be muted and diffused. Each apocalypse was isolated from one another. Today, however, the immediacy, speed—and mania—of the YouTube algorithm has effected a true qualitative change.
Just 10, maybe 5, years ago, I would not have felt this camaraderie. Nowadays, the Unending Conversation is present to me in much more direct and constant ways than was ever possible before. The Algorithms of YouTube are now my conversations. The clips range from ten minutes to longer pieces, sometimes whole hours of programming. Most of the content is a single person like Ben Meiselas or Michael Popock speaking into his laptop camera offering commentary on the legal and political news of the day (or rather, that hour). There is a cycle of clips each day, including Colbert, Kimmel, and Stewart; there are the regular commentators—Joy Reid, Lawrence O’Donnell, Ari Melber. So it’s a lot of MSNBC, with podcasts by MSNBC contributors, Brian Tyler Cohen, Glenn Kirschner, Andrew Weissmann—and others like Tim Miller, George Conway, Sarah Longwell—even folks like Bill Kristol.
The forays are not dramatic, hysterical, or crisis-tinged. They are focused and reasoned. They have emotion and pointedness; they suggest a hope that discourse can matter, that rules can be followed, that intelligent, impassioned, linguistically-responsible involvement can be both practiced and sustained over time by individuals who bring both evidence and principled analysis to bear. I am hooked by these savants. I have not experienced such a thing in my nearly seven decades on this planet. It strikes me that such a mode of consuming/experiencing discourse has not been available to me—or anyone—prior to the onset of modern digital-social media. I’m in the throes of a wave that is sweeping past—a new, Addictive Alchemy of Algorithms. The clips come and go, with mini-ads I can skip after 5 seconds, with a fragility of the screen that can click away inadvertently because of my clumsy boomer fingers, but with such a wealth of endless content, that nothing is ever lost, or lost for good, though the clips tend to disappear in a way wholly against the grain of my essence, with my longstanding commitment to archiving and saving, storing and organizing. The YouTube interface controls the delivery and pacing, and it does so in a way that serves me. But I wonder if that sense of service is an illusion. Am I being pushed and shaped into something not of my making? Am I entrapped in an Algorithm of Compulsion?
I need to understand what got me here. I worry that I am on a trajectory that is fueling itself into deeper and deeper echoes of a chamber I may never emerge from. But I have felt so desperate. The Trump phenomenon of dishonor-cum-popularity has pulled the rug from me—and when I listen to my fellow sufferers, they seem both to offer a way out from the despair even while they plunge me more fully into the clutches of it. I have often advocated the value of a “purification by excess,” so my death scroll, perhaps, has purpose and method. But such a method always carries with it the danger of the opposite: complete pollution by the excess.
This mode of being, riding the algorithms of YouTube is a new way of consuming, living with, engaging in world events. I feel a need to get it right—to fix the world. As if it were up to me to fix things; as if I could. The Trump phenomenon has revealed how different I am (we are) from so many people around me, from so many people in this country, from many people I love. I need to make sense of it. I need to have hope that decency matters, that we share some basic agreements about who/what/why we are; that something matters.
At the bottom of all this—my immersion in the algorithms, my search for a new set of foundations for my psyche and family and students and community—lies my need for purpose and hope. Those are the things that have been taken away. The current threats are so far beyond what they ever have been. Not really: I remember growing up fearing nuclear obliteration—the end of human existence, with the Tuesday morning 10:30 AM air raid siren reminder, the fallout shelter signs, and Cold War chill in the air. But with the sixties, seventies, and eighties, we grew somewhat around and beyond that fear. In contrast, today the climate crisis is more insidious and visible at the same time. The hopelessness of this planet on fire is deeper—since no solution seems nearly comprehensive enough, and the march on our path seems inexorable.
Against the pull of the algorithms, I rely on the simple correctives of fresh air and real life conversations with people close at hand. I derive such joy in accomplishing minor service projects that make me useful and employed. I can envision a life of getting up, keeping active, checking things off. I need the balance made possible by the diffusions and disorganization of non-technologized modes of interaction.
In closing, I must never forget that there may be healthy technologized forms of camaraderie outside the algorithm. Somewhere between the dictates of YouTube and the comforts of people close at hand, I must find, collect, and curate those people and statements that can nudge me closer to a happier balance. Now is a good time to recall (and thank) Terry Gross and Ken Burns, in replaying a portion of their conversation that I had happened to save a few years back, just after the release of Burns’s documentary, The Vietnam War:
| Terry Gross: I want to quote something that the media critic, James Poniewozik, wrote in The New York Times. This was in a review, a very positive review, of your series, The Vietnam War. He wrote: “The saddest thing about this elegiac documentary may be the credit it extends its audience. The series, The Vietnam War, still holds out hope that we might learn from history, after presenting 18 hours of evidence to the contrary.” Ken Burns: I think it’s a beautiful sentence and I will hold to my optimism. I think history has made me an optimist, despite the fact that it shows you that human nature doesn’t change, that the same venality is present, the same abstraction of war is present, the same greed is present. But so is also the same generosity, and the same … love. And war is human nature on steroids. And so, it’s an eminently study-able thing. And we assume that it’s just all negative. In fact, the same electrons that war gives off, in all the instances that I’ve tried to tackle it, reveal as much about the positive sides of human nature, and maybe the reason why we … you know, none of us is getting out of this alive, Terry, and we could reasonably be assumed to be huddled in the fetal position. But we don’t. We raise families. And we plant gardens. And we write symphonies. And we try to make films, and talk about history. And maybe there’s something that comes from that … that sticks. |
None of us is getting out of this apocalypse alive, Terry, but yes, that little garden over there is oh, so beautiful….