September 22, 2004
When in doubt, quote Mark Twain:
- “Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.“
- “Always tell the truth; then you don’t have to remember anything. “
- “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”
- “Don’t let school interfere with your education.”
- “Heaven for climate. Hell for company.”
- “Love your enemy, it will scare the hell out of them.”
- “We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.”
- “Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.”
- “The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man that can not read them.”
- “It is best to keep your mouth shut and be presumed ignorant than to open it and remove all doubt.”
- “Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”
- “It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races.”
- “When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.”
- “I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.”
- “If there are no cigars in Heaven, I shall not go.”
- “I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”
- “When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”
- “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.”
- “Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. “
- “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
- “If God had meant for us to be naked, we’d have been born that way.”
- “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
- “A good lie will have traveled half way around the world while the truth is putting on her boots.”
- “When in doubt, tell the truth.”