Internet Humor [Puns]

Silly puns…[again from my brother, Michael]:

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, its an I for an I.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.

eBN: One Stop Shop for Educational Bloggin

While working on the English Education portal (I’m trying to find a way to
use Drupal’s hierarchy, node, taxonomy, multiple term select features), I came
across a Web site that might provide me and my students and colleagues a rich
resource, if we wish to pursue reasarch in the educational uses of blogging.
It’s called the "Educational Bloggers’
Network." Here is how the site describes its mission:

eBN is a collaborative of teachers and
organizations using weblogs in education. Its purpose is to help its
members, kindergarten through university, to access and use weblog technology
for the teaching of writing and reading across the disciplines. The network
provides a forum for educational professionals who use weblogs, an array of
opportunities for teachers to continue their professional growth, and a framework
for cooperation to deal with issues that affect the integration of weblog
and other digital technologies into teaching and learning.

 

Discussion Boards or Blogging

Here is an excerpt from a message by recent alum and cuurent Lockport teacher
on the topic of using the Web in teaching:

Hello Dr. Bonadonna,

. . . I am looking at doing another classroom
webpage. This time, rather than bothering you with discussion boards, I wanted
your opinion on web logs. The NCTE electronic newsletter contained a couple:
tblog.com, and movabletype.org. My only concern is that other people outside
of my class can log in to classroom discussion. What do you think about blogs
and their feasibility for classroom use?

Thanks,
Monika S.

Here’s my reply:

Wow–funny you should ask, Monika. All I’ve been thinking about lately is
the issue of blogs vs. discussion boards in English education.

I’ve taken the plunge and decided to ditch my Blackboard discussions boards
for blogs. I can identify several advantages to blogs (involving issues of
the writing process, authority and ownership of content, flexibility, etc.)–but
there are issues involved.

In short, I like blogs for MANY (English-teacher-type) reasons, but one
problem they create is the "dispersion" of the discussion. Instead
of being organized in one spot, the discussion is distributed across many
different Web sites (i.e., each individual’s blog). Another problem is the
password restriction issue. A bulletin board in Blackboard or PHPBB makes
it easy to restrict access. This is not always the case with blogging software.

But there are solutions to these issues, and I’d love to discuss them with
you.

The blogging software I’m using with my classes right now is called bBlog.
It has several excellent features, but one that I really like is the ability
to "tag" each entry with a user-defined category. It doesn’t sound
like much to get excited about, but what it does is let the blogger do true,
chaotic, random, chronological, "processy," Grammar B blogging–the
"real thing" in blogging–and while doing that, to mix in some quality,
teacher-assigned, essayistic-type blogging–all without any fear of creating
a disorganized, impenetrable mess. With the "category tagging" feature,
a teacher could go to a student’s blog, click on a category (e.g., "Antigone
Journal") and foomp! get a sorting of all the entries that the blogger
had tagged with that category.

The mind ‘gins to spin…. Would you like to experiment with me? What if
we created a project of some kind with your students and mine…? It doesn’t
have to be all that involved. It could be as simple as your students blogging,
and my students reading or perhaps even responding to some of the postings
in a kind of reading buddies sort of way.
Of course, I’m getting way ahead of myself here, but hey, it doesn’t hurt
to ask. I’m always looking for creative ways of "bringing" real
kids and real experiences to my pre-service teachers. With everyone blogging,
it just becomes a little easier to do all the "bringing." So don’t
feel any pressure. But there is this other thing:

Monika? I have a category, "On Blogging," set up in my blog….
Do you see where I’m going? May I have your permission to use your email and
my response in my blog? :)

As far as tblog and moveabletype.org go, I’m not sure of their exact features.
I’ve used www.blogger.com in the past. But maybe we should talk… You might
find some advantages to using bBlog…. How many students do you have? :)
–Angelo, who yells: "Hey, Congrats on the Lockport gig!" Much good
luck to you.

 

Word Count

This simple tool came to me in today’s Scout
Report. Here is how the Word Count site describes itself:

WordCount™
is an artistic experiment in the way we use language. It presents the 86,800
most frequently used English words, ranked in order of commonality. Each
word is scaled to reflect its frequency relative to the words that precede
and follow it, giving a visual barometer of relevance. The larger the word,
the more we use it. The smaller the word, the more uncommon it is…

Can you guess what the three most common words of the English language are and their ranked order (Hint: they’re all in this question)?

George Packer on Blogging, Pajamas, Politics…

While writing the English Ed’s site’s description of the Blog project, I came
across this marvelous passage by George Packer. It introduces his article,"The
Revolution Will Not Be Blogged," published in the May/June issue of Mother
Jones. I like Packer’s ambivalence. The article explores the nature of
blog reading more than blog writing (and blog reading in the sphere of political
journalism), with some nicely subtle shades of positives and negatives:

To see beyond their own little world and get a sense
of what’s really
going on, journalists and readers need to get out of their pajamas.

FIRST, A CONFESSION: I HATE BLOGS.
I’m also addicted to them.
Hours dissolve into nothing when I suit up and dematerialize into the,
political blogosphere, first visiting one of the larger, nearer online
opinion diaries–talkingpointsmemo.com, andrewsullivan.com, kausfiles
com–then beaming myself outward along rays of pixelated light to dozens
of satellites and lesser stars, Calpundit, InstaPundit, OxBlog, each one
radiant with links to other galaxies–online newspapers and magazines
with deep, deep archives, think-tank websites, hundred-page electronic
reports in PDF–until I’m light-years from the point of departure and
can rescue myself only by summoning the will to disconnect from the
whole artificial universe. With a jolt, I land in front of my computer.
Before long I’ll venture forth again to see what’s new out
there–because the blogosphere changes from instant to instant.