An Entry on the No Entries Motive

Hmm….you wouldn’t know it, but I
write the blog all day long with varied and deep and sprawling observations,
reflections, brainstorms, commentaries, speeches Dusty Baker needs to give his
hapless team, solutions for the English Education quandaries, and more, more,
more. But none of it ever seems to make its way into this blog. It’s time for
an entry on why, though I can’t quite seem to nail it, and so I delay. But here’s
a partial list:

  • Publication Anxieties: There are many kinds of publication
    anxieties, but I’ll focus on the fear associated with the "public representation
    of one’s writing." I know blogging is supposed to be free and casual,
    "your mind on the Web," your un-spell-checked, un-filtered, un-labored-over
    phenomenological stream and such, but who can be so un-fettered, un-revised,
    un-artificial as all that?
  • Loneliness/Privacy: These are opposite pulls. Blogging
    can be so lonely…. There you are, putting your Wisdom o’ Life out there,
    and there it goes, unread, ignored. On the other hand, if the blogging is
    going well, it can get pretty close to the core, so KEEP OUT!
  • Trajectory of An Idea: One thing leads to another, till
    it circles back into the Totality of Everything. I start planning these little
    blogs, each of which connects to all these other thoughts, each of which summons
    a plan for new entries. There’s always a master plan lurking. Ah, master plans:
    the motive of all possibilities and nothingness. Coleridge was right: Extremes
    do meet.
  • Violating Communication Privilege: This problem originated
    as the simple ethical problem of quoting a friend’s email. It’s really wrong
    to take a friend’s or colleague’s or student’s message and post it on a Web
    site without permission, but the delay of the process, and/or the possibility
    of denial takes all the fun and spontaneity out the whole blog experience.
    Now the problem has expanded into another area. For lately, I’ve felt the
    urge to post email that I’VE composed and sent to friends, students, colleagues.
    Even though I am the "owner" and author of the text, I feel it’s
    a violation to take a message crafted and intended for an individual and re-use
    it for a larger audience. (But so much of our language is re-usable!) So I
    start to wonder: To what extent was the original message itself "dictated"
    by the needs of this alterior/ulterior? rhetorical situation? Just when did
    the thinking that this message might be "re-usable" start creeping
    in? As rhetorical motives flit about during communication, just how do we
    go about sorting through purposes, audiences, and situations? So typically,
    I throw up my hands; I just sit on it, and ignore the whole thing, sigh…
  • Get a Life: This journaling, while the best of all things
    (to a teacher of writing…process, process, process…archive, archive, archive,
    which leads to more process, process, process) threatens to take over….
    I mean, who has the time?
  • Who the hell cares? I mean, people around me–at home,
    at work, in the community, everywhere–are kind and caring and generous–and
    would read anything I put before them in a heartbeat, but should they really
    be subjected to "inhabit my sprawl"? I mean, we all enjoy our OWN
    sprawl, and it is, to quote Smeagol, "our precious"…but take that
    sprawl out of context, and talk about BORING! Hmm…the sprawl as ring…now
    there’s an idea! Keep posted….
  • Perpetual Unfinishedness: Living la vida blog, womb-bred
    blogging–authenticity in blogging–requires comfort with–no, an inhabitation
    of–the attitude of perpetual unfinishedness. Got an idea? Feel a need to
    understand it? to know it? to work with it? to move on with it? Go write a
    final draft. Get thee to a five-paragraph essay! Hence from the blog and blogging
    company! In fragments and false starts and partial finishes and ellipsis marks
    and the perpetual endlessness of things we trust, kinda…