Definitions (Internet Humor)

From my brother Michael, my chief supplier of Internet humor:


Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage
Burglarize: What a crook sees with
Control: A short, ugly inmate
Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
Eclipse: what an English barber does for a living
Eyedropper: a clumsy ophthalmologist
Heroes: what a guy in a boat does
Left Bank: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot
Misty: How golfers create divots
Paradox: two physicians
Parasites: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
Pharmacist: a helper on the farm
Polarize: what penguins see with
Primate: removing your spouse from in front of the TV
Relief: what trees do in the spring
Rubberneck: what you do to relax your wife
Seamstress: describes 250 pounds in a size 6
Selfish: what the owner of a seafood store does
Sudafed: brought litigation against a government official